For the last four days I have been trying to log in and make a post, but I kept getting an error message. Finally I got on tonight. Lots of catching up to do.
On June 2, I had a CT scan and saw Dr. Cutie on the 4th. The results of the scan are not good. The tumor has grown to about 9 centimetres. The chemo I was on was not working either to shrink the tumor or to allay the cancer side effects (the fluid build up around my organs) so I have been taken off chemo. There are no other chemo drugs that will do anything for me.
Since there are no further treatment options, I have been referred to palliative care at St. Boniface General Hospital. I spoke to one of their reps today; sounds like an excellent organization.
The fluid buildup got bad again, so I saw Dr. Cutie again on June 8. This time they drained off 3.25 litres. Picture in your mind a four litre milk jug and take out three cups of milk. The milk left in the jug is how much they drained from me. You can imagine how much of a relief it was to have the burden of that weight taken off. It is coming back; I can feel it. I will likely have to be drained again next week. Lucky for me it's a very easy procedure.
I had an adventure last Friday. I went out into our backyard, took a couple of steps along the sidewalk, and keeled over. It was almost as if someone turned my legs off because they just went out from under me. I landed on my chin and split it open by about a centimetre and a half, and my jaw is out of whack right now, but otherwise I am uninjured. The worst part is that I can't chew because of my jaw; my teeth don't line up. This makes eating very difficult, doubly so because I am very hungry. Being off the chemo has brought my appetite back.
Anyway, my folks took me to Concordia's emergency room. I was seen almost immediately, was checked over, X-rayed (no breaks or cracks in the bones), and my split chin was fixed up. For those of you who have thought my use of Crazy Glue to cover paper cuts, guess what they used on my chin! Crazy Glue! Medical grade of course, in a sterile little bottle.
Well, that's all I have to report right now. Have a great weekend!
-- Lori
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
What a Beautiful Day . . .
Hiya, folks!
It sure is a beautiful day out there with the sunshine, a light wind, and warmth. FINALLY!
I'm feeling better this week than I have for the last couple of weeks. I'm getting better sleep because of a very simple thing: I changed the sheets on my bed. Since I have no body fat, I get cold very quickly, so we put microfibre sheets on my bed and I have been sleeping in flannel pajamas. I was warm as toast all winter long. In the last few weeks, however, I have noticed that I was waking up every time I had to roll over, and I had a hard time rolling over. Not that I toss and turn much in bed, but I thought it was odd, waking up every time and finding it such hard work. Then it came to me: flannel and microfibre act a bit like velcro in that they stick together, so every time I tried to roll over, it was quite a chore. So we changed my bed sheets to cotton percale. Problem solved. I still wear my flannel jammies, though.
My hands are still tingly from last week's oxalyplatin treatment, but it is wearing off. I notice it most early in the morning.
I have been feeling much better since Dr. Cutie drained the fluid from around my organs. I used to feel about nine months pregnant; now I feel about six months pregnant. Probably the biggest difference is that it changed my centre of gravity. With the load of fluid, my balance was a little off and now I am a bit better balanced. Also, I was able to go and buy some maternity jeans that fit so I am no longer stuck in coveralls. Loved the coveralls, but they weigh about ten pounds and are trickier to get on and off than jeans, especially when you have to get to the bathroom in a hurry.
We got out to my sister's to see the horses on Saturday. Unfortunately, Pearl was a bit gimpy so we didn't even attept any riding. I wasn't feeling very strong myself, so I was happy to just give her a good grooming and lots of ear scratching.
I should tell you that Rusty has fast become a part of the family. He has exceptionally good manners for a dog that wasn't raised as a housedog. Now if only he would stop shedding.
Enjoy your afternoon!
-- Lori
It sure is a beautiful day out there with the sunshine, a light wind, and warmth. FINALLY!
I'm feeling better this week than I have for the last couple of weeks. I'm getting better sleep because of a very simple thing: I changed the sheets on my bed. Since I have no body fat, I get cold very quickly, so we put microfibre sheets on my bed and I have been sleeping in flannel pajamas. I was warm as toast all winter long. In the last few weeks, however, I have noticed that I was waking up every time I had to roll over, and I had a hard time rolling over. Not that I toss and turn much in bed, but I thought it was odd, waking up every time and finding it such hard work. Then it came to me: flannel and microfibre act a bit like velcro in that they stick together, so every time I tried to roll over, it was quite a chore. So we changed my bed sheets to cotton percale. Problem solved. I still wear my flannel jammies, though.
My hands are still tingly from last week's oxalyplatin treatment, but it is wearing off. I notice it most early in the morning.
I have been feeling much better since Dr. Cutie drained the fluid from around my organs. I used to feel about nine months pregnant; now I feel about six months pregnant. Probably the biggest difference is that it changed my centre of gravity. With the load of fluid, my balance was a little off and now I am a bit better balanced. Also, I was able to go and buy some maternity jeans that fit so I am no longer stuck in coveralls. Loved the coveralls, but they weigh about ten pounds and are trickier to get on and off than jeans, especially when you have to get to the bathroom in a hurry.
We got out to my sister's to see the horses on Saturday. Unfortunately, Pearl was a bit gimpy so we didn't even attept any riding. I wasn't feeling very strong myself, so I was happy to just give her a good grooming and lots of ear scratching.
I should tell you that Rusty has fast become a part of the family. He has exceptionally good manners for a dog that wasn't raised as a housedog. Now if only he would stop shedding.
Enjoy your afternoon!
-- Lori
Friday, May 22, 2009
Paracentesis on a Friday Afternoon . . .
This week's chemotherapy was the hard drugs that make my hands tingly and seizy, so I haven't been able to e-mail or update my blog. Today they are feeling not too bad, so I figured I'd better update the blog.
I have been feeling very tired and lethargic the last couple of weeks. The pain hasn't been too bad but it's still there, and being tired makes the pain harder to cope with. Monday after my chemo I had the worst bout of hand seizing I've experienced so far and it lasted into Tuesday, but it has since worn off. I still am getting the tingly fingers today, however.
The fluid buildup around my internal organs was terrible last weekend. The biggest my girth measurement had been was 35 inches. On Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, it was 36 inches, and crept up to 36.5 inches on Monday. I was in misery! Every move I made caused gurgling and fluid shifting and pressure on my innards, so I phoned the doctor and got in today for paracentesis.
For those of you unfamiliar with paracentesis, it means draining off the excess fluid using a large-bore blunt needle. First Dr. Cutie thumped my abdomen all over to see where the best place to insert the needle would be. He injected some anesthetic, then poked in a small bore sharp needle to see if any liquid would come out and how fast it would drain. After removing the small needle, he put the large-bore needle in. The one used on me was about five inches long but I'm not sure how far they jabbed it in. I couldn't feel it at all.
The large-bore needle is attached to a length of medical hose with a needle on the end. The needle is inserted into a suction jar so that the suction in the jar draws out the fluid inside your body. In all, they took out a litre and a half of liquid from my abdomen. I feel much less pressure in my abdomen and just wish I could have had this done last Friday! It really is a simple procedure - practically painless - and doesn't take very long at all. I do have a bandage on my side where the needles were inserted, but that just means I can't bathe until Monday when the bandage comes off.
It sure is nice to walk outside these days and see the trees blushing green with their new leaf growth. I could wish for it to be about five degrees warmer out, but I'll be thankful for what we get as long as it doesn't snow again!
Have yourselves a great weekend.
-- Lori
I have been feeling very tired and lethargic the last couple of weeks. The pain hasn't been too bad but it's still there, and being tired makes the pain harder to cope with. Monday after my chemo I had the worst bout of hand seizing I've experienced so far and it lasted into Tuesday, but it has since worn off. I still am getting the tingly fingers today, however.
The fluid buildup around my internal organs was terrible last weekend. The biggest my girth measurement had been was 35 inches. On Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, it was 36 inches, and crept up to 36.5 inches on Monday. I was in misery! Every move I made caused gurgling and fluid shifting and pressure on my innards, so I phoned the doctor and got in today for paracentesis.
For those of you unfamiliar with paracentesis, it means draining off the excess fluid using a large-bore blunt needle. First Dr. Cutie thumped my abdomen all over to see where the best place to insert the needle would be. He injected some anesthetic, then poked in a small bore sharp needle to see if any liquid would come out and how fast it would drain. After removing the small needle, he put the large-bore needle in. The one used on me was about five inches long but I'm not sure how far they jabbed it in. I couldn't feel it at all.
The large-bore needle is attached to a length of medical hose with a needle on the end. The needle is inserted into a suction jar so that the suction in the jar draws out the fluid inside your body. In all, they took out a litre and a half of liquid from my abdomen. I feel much less pressure in my abdomen and just wish I could have had this done last Friday! It really is a simple procedure - practically painless - and doesn't take very long at all. I do have a bandage on my side where the needles were inserted, but that just means I can't bathe until Monday when the bandage comes off.
It sure is nice to walk outside these days and see the trees blushing green with their new leaf growth. I could wish for it to be about five degrees warmer out, but I'll be thankful for what we get as long as it doesn't snow again!
Have yourselves a great weekend.
-- Lori
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A Tough Couple of Weeks . . .
I haven't posted anything since May 1 (shame on me), but it has been a very tough couple of weeks. I sat down at the computer a few times to write, but the words just wouldn't come so I never got anything written.
The first week of May I was in a lot of pain. Although I always seem to have pain in my abdomen in the upper right quadrant - around the liver area - this pain was more generalized through my abdomen and just sucked the life out of me. Some days I had trouble just getting out of bed because I knew a long day stretched out ahead of me. How much easier to just lie there and let the day pass without me. But, being a little stubborn, I managed to heave myself out from between the sheets, get myself dressed, and get myself through the days. An increase in my pain medications, with Dr. Cutie's approval, of course, got me over that, and the pain slowly has subsided. I still have it but I can bear it, and again, it is more localized to my liver area.
However, as the pain subsided, gastrointestinal issues arose and I was pretty much stuck in the house. I couldn't get too far from a bathroom for fear of having an accident. This is, I think, a side effect of one of the chemo drugs because it is always worse after I have a dose of oxylaplatin. The oxylaplatin effects the nerves, causing numbness and tingling in fingers and toes, and I firmly believe it effects other nerves as well making it hard to detect when you gotta go.
This last week I have been struggling with fatique. I feel wrung out like an old dishrag, tired, stupid, and generally lethargic. While my mom whips around the house keeping it in shape, I find it takes all my energy, sometimes, just to put my shoes on. Forget walking further than a couple of blocks; I just don't have the energy. But on days when the sun is bright and the weather is warm, I do make myself walk around the block, and I do go out in the backyard and soak up the sun.
It just amazes me how differently I feel when the sun is shining. On those dark, dreary days like the one we had yesterday, even my thoughts are dark and dreary, and my energy level is lower. Days like today, even though it's still chilly out, I feel much more energized and my mood is definitely happier.
Because of all this, I haven't been able to get out to see my sister and the horses, but I am hoping to get out again soon, maybe get in a little riding, maybe just sit in their yard and watch the birds and squirrels playing in the trees. They have some squirrels that appear to be grey/red squirrel crosses because they definitely have characteristics of both types of squirrel.
Anyway, that's enough for now. I'm off to have lunch. Fortunately, the kitchen is only 15 steps away.
-- Lori
The first week of May I was in a lot of pain. Although I always seem to have pain in my abdomen in the upper right quadrant - around the liver area - this pain was more generalized through my abdomen and just sucked the life out of me. Some days I had trouble just getting out of bed because I knew a long day stretched out ahead of me. How much easier to just lie there and let the day pass without me. But, being a little stubborn, I managed to heave myself out from between the sheets, get myself dressed, and get myself through the days. An increase in my pain medications, with Dr. Cutie's approval, of course, got me over that, and the pain slowly has subsided. I still have it but I can bear it, and again, it is more localized to my liver area.
However, as the pain subsided, gastrointestinal issues arose and I was pretty much stuck in the house. I couldn't get too far from a bathroom for fear of having an accident. This is, I think, a side effect of one of the chemo drugs because it is always worse after I have a dose of oxylaplatin. The oxylaplatin effects the nerves, causing numbness and tingling in fingers and toes, and I firmly believe it effects other nerves as well making it hard to detect when you gotta go.
This last week I have been struggling with fatique. I feel wrung out like an old dishrag, tired, stupid, and generally lethargic. While my mom whips around the house keeping it in shape, I find it takes all my energy, sometimes, just to put my shoes on. Forget walking further than a couple of blocks; I just don't have the energy. But on days when the sun is bright and the weather is warm, I do make myself walk around the block, and I do go out in the backyard and soak up the sun.
It just amazes me how differently I feel when the sun is shining. On those dark, dreary days like the one we had yesterday, even my thoughts are dark and dreary, and my energy level is lower. Days like today, even though it's still chilly out, I feel much more energized and my mood is definitely happier.
Because of all this, I haven't been able to get out to see my sister and the horses, but I am hoping to get out again soon, maybe get in a little riding, maybe just sit in their yard and watch the birds and squirrels playing in the trees. They have some squirrels that appear to be grey/red squirrel crosses because they definitely have characteristics of both types of squirrel.
Anyway, that's enough for now. I'm off to have lunch. Fortunately, the kitchen is only 15 steps away.
-- Lori
Friday, May 1, 2009
What's Been Happening This Week . . .
This has been a very difficult week for me because I have been in a lot of pain.
It started Saturday. I woke up and just felt yucky with a lot of pain in my right side around my liver. I took my pain meds and felt better once they kicked in, but it's been up and down with the pain all week. As well, my digestive tract has been rather uproarious, so that I have been a little scared to get too far from home and the bathroom. It also makes me feel drained and I think that makes me more susceptible to the pain, too.
To make matters worse, I also discovered on Thursday morning that I have thrush! I had been having a sore tongue for a long time and thought it was just part of the chemotherapy. Mouth sores are common, and the chemotherapy drugs attack the fastest growing cells in your body. Your mouth membranes are some of the fastest growing, so of course they get attacked. Well, yesterday I noticed little white patches not only on my tongue but along the roof of my mouth and my cheeks. I knew immediately what it was because Elder Daughter had thrush as an infant. Fortunately, a quick call to Dr. Cutie got me the appropriate medication and I will soon be clear of the thrush, I hope.
I did a little quick checking on the internet and found that the sores at the corners of my mouth that I thought were cold sores are in fact a symptom of thrush. Over the past few weeks, the sores had come and gone but had never completely disappeared. I found a picture on the 'net that showed exactly what I have - they do look like cold sores.
In case you aren't familiar with thrush, it's an overgrowth of a yeast called Candida Albicans (there are other Candida strains that will cause it as well) that naturally grows on and in most people. Healthy people with normal immune sysems don't usually get thrush; it happens when your immune system is compromised by something like chemotherapy or HIV-AIDS infection. You can also get thrush from taking antibiotics. The antibiotics kill off the bacteria in your system that usually keep the yeast in check, causing an overgrowth. Since I have it in my mouth, every time I swallow some of the yeast goes down into my gut, so I'm hoping a lot of the gastrointestinal distress I have been experiencing will go away with the thrush. Let's hope so, anyway.
Now that the icky stuff is out of the way, let me share some pictures with you.
These two pictures were taken last week. Me and Pearl getting to know each other.
And this is Rusty, our new English Setter. Nice dog. He's very quick to learn and eager to please, plus he has very nice manners. His manners do need a little work, but he's getting to be a part of the family very quickly. Still miss Mac.
Have yourselves a wonderful weekend!
-- Lori
It started Saturday. I woke up and just felt yucky with a lot of pain in my right side around my liver. I took my pain meds and felt better once they kicked in, but it's been up and down with the pain all week. As well, my digestive tract has been rather uproarious, so that I have been a little scared to get too far from home and the bathroom. It also makes me feel drained and I think that makes me more susceptible to the pain, too.
To make matters worse, I also discovered on Thursday morning that I have thrush! I had been having a sore tongue for a long time and thought it was just part of the chemotherapy. Mouth sores are common, and the chemotherapy drugs attack the fastest growing cells in your body. Your mouth membranes are some of the fastest growing, so of course they get attacked. Well, yesterday I noticed little white patches not only on my tongue but along the roof of my mouth and my cheeks. I knew immediately what it was because Elder Daughter had thrush as an infant. Fortunately, a quick call to Dr. Cutie got me the appropriate medication and I will soon be clear of the thrush, I hope.
I did a little quick checking on the internet and found that the sores at the corners of my mouth that I thought were cold sores are in fact a symptom of thrush. Over the past few weeks, the sores had come and gone but had never completely disappeared. I found a picture on the 'net that showed exactly what I have - they do look like cold sores.
In case you aren't familiar with thrush, it's an overgrowth of a yeast called Candida Albicans (there are other Candida strains that will cause it as well) that naturally grows on and in most people. Healthy people with normal immune sysems don't usually get thrush; it happens when your immune system is compromised by something like chemotherapy or HIV-AIDS infection. You can also get thrush from taking antibiotics. The antibiotics kill off the bacteria in your system that usually keep the yeast in check, causing an overgrowth. Since I have it in my mouth, every time I swallow some of the yeast goes down into my gut, so I'm hoping a lot of the gastrointestinal distress I have been experiencing will go away with the thrush. Let's hope so, anyway.
Now that the icky stuff is out of the way, let me share some pictures with you.
These two pictures were taken last week. Me and Pearl getting to know each other.
And this is Rusty, our new English Setter. Nice dog. He's very quick to learn and eager to please, plus he has very nice manners. His manners do need a little work, but he's getting to be a part of the family very quickly. Still miss Mac.
Have yourselves a wonderful weekend!
-- Lori
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Some Good Days, Some Bad Days . . .
This has been a very eventful week for me, and most of it has been pretty good!
First off, nice weather. Nice to be out in it, nice to see the sun shining in at the windows, just all around better than it has been.
The pain of losing Mac is slowly wearing off. I still miss his little face following me outside, and I still miss his enthusiastic welcome back whenever I have been out of the house for longer than five minutes, but I know we did the right thing in having him put down because he was suffering.
Yesterday was a red letter day for me: mom and I went out to my sister's and I got to ride Pearl on my own for about an hour. It was an interesting experience both for me and for Pearl. My sister tacked her up with a saddle, which made mounting and dismounting much, much easier, and a halter. She looped the free end of the lead rope through the halter and I rode Pearl just like that, without a bridle. At first she was a little unsure of herself (as I was), but she got the hang of responding to a bit of pressure on the lead rope reins. We wandered around the training ring a bit, then did some figure eights, some sharp turns, practiced stopping, and I even got her to back up a couple of steps! That's something I've never been able to do before (mainly because nobody ever taught me how).
Then we were let out of the training ring and rode around the pasture a bit. We never got beyond a walk, but since we're both learning and still getting to know each other, that was fine with me. Besides which, I was happy to go at a slow pace and just enjoy the motion of the horse, the soft breeze blowing on my face, and the sun warming me.
Funny thing, I don't feel the least bit stiff. When I went riding years ago, I always had sore legs, and if you have ever gone riding, you know what I mean. My sister tells me that you only get stiff riding a horse if you tense up, and I managed to stay loosey-goosey and relaxed the whole time. I have also been doing some yoga stretches and such to keep what little muscle I have left nice and flexible.
I can hardly wait to go riding again! Keep your fingers crossed for good weather next week.
Today was a long day because I had both an appointment with Dr. Cutie and a CT scan. We were at HSC for over five hours. Heck, it took almost an hour just to get my bloodwork done! The news is good: I am okay to go ahead with the next round of chemotherapy. The last CT didn't show much change in the tumor, but it did show the fluid buildup around my organs. The chemo seems to be keeping that in check fairly well but doesn't get rid of it entirely.
After a visit with Dr. Cutie, we went to the CT room and I had my usual CT scan. This involves drinking two 10-ounce glasses of water with contrast solution mixed in, getting a line put into my arm for more contrast solution to be administered during the scan, then being stuck in the CT machine. The hardest part this time was the line. The nurse who put it in did a good job, got a vein the first try. But when they started the contrast solution during the scan itself, whoever started the solution just grabbed my arm and yoinked it up without warning me. It felt like the line needle turned sideways inside my arm and I was literally yelping in pain. If she had at least warned me, I would have been prepared. As it was, it hurt like heck and almost had me in tears.
I will probably not see Dr. Cutie again for six weeks, but he will call me if anything serious shows up on today's CT scan.
CAUTION! THIS PARAGRAPH MIGHT GROSS YOU OUT. I have been measuring my girth every night in order to monitor the fluid buildup. Some days I feel about nine months pregnant, some days only about four or five months. Last night I was surprised when my girth measured 34 inches around; it had been hovering around the 32 inch mark. My immediate thought was, uh-oh, the chemo has stopped working on the buildup, wonder what they'll have to do next to ease it. Then I went to bed. After about ten minutes, I got terrible gas pains and had to get out of bed and walk around to ease the pressure. Ease it I did, in several loud and smelly emissions over about half an hour. When I went back to bed, I had the bright idea of measuring my girth again, and lo and behold! Down to 32.5 inches. Wow, that was a lot of flagus!
Now that you have been properly shocked (snicker), I will bid you all a good evening. And have a great weekend too!
-- Lori
First off, nice weather. Nice to be out in it, nice to see the sun shining in at the windows, just all around better than it has been.
The pain of losing Mac is slowly wearing off. I still miss his little face following me outside, and I still miss his enthusiastic welcome back whenever I have been out of the house for longer than five minutes, but I know we did the right thing in having him put down because he was suffering.
Yesterday was a red letter day for me: mom and I went out to my sister's and I got to ride Pearl on my own for about an hour. It was an interesting experience both for me and for Pearl. My sister tacked her up with a saddle, which made mounting and dismounting much, much easier, and a halter. She looped the free end of the lead rope through the halter and I rode Pearl just like that, without a bridle. At first she was a little unsure of herself (as I was), but she got the hang of responding to a bit of pressure on the lead rope reins. We wandered around the training ring a bit, then did some figure eights, some sharp turns, practiced stopping, and I even got her to back up a couple of steps! That's something I've never been able to do before (mainly because nobody ever taught me how).
Then we were let out of the training ring and rode around the pasture a bit. We never got beyond a walk, but since we're both learning and still getting to know each other, that was fine with me. Besides which, I was happy to go at a slow pace and just enjoy the motion of the horse, the soft breeze blowing on my face, and the sun warming me.
Funny thing, I don't feel the least bit stiff. When I went riding years ago, I always had sore legs, and if you have ever gone riding, you know what I mean. My sister tells me that you only get stiff riding a horse if you tense up, and I managed to stay loosey-goosey and relaxed the whole time. I have also been doing some yoga stretches and such to keep what little muscle I have left nice and flexible.
I can hardly wait to go riding again! Keep your fingers crossed for good weather next week.
Today was a long day because I had both an appointment with Dr. Cutie and a CT scan. We were at HSC for over five hours. Heck, it took almost an hour just to get my bloodwork done! The news is good: I am okay to go ahead with the next round of chemotherapy. The last CT didn't show much change in the tumor, but it did show the fluid buildup around my organs. The chemo seems to be keeping that in check fairly well but doesn't get rid of it entirely.
After a visit with Dr. Cutie, we went to the CT room and I had my usual CT scan. This involves drinking two 10-ounce glasses of water with contrast solution mixed in, getting a line put into my arm for more contrast solution to be administered during the scan, then being stuck in the CT machine. The hardest part this time was the line. The nurse who put it in did a good job, got a vein the first try. But when they started the contrast solution during the scan itself, whoever started the solution just grabbed my arm and yoinked it up without warning me. It felt like the line needle turned sideways inside my arm and I was literally yelping in pain. If she had at least warned me, I would have been prepared. As it was, it hurt like heck and almost had me in tears.
I will probably not see Dr. Cutie again for six weeks, but he will call me if anything serious shows up on today's CT scan.
CAUTION! THIS PARAGRAPH MIGHT GROSS YOU OUT. I have been measuring my girth every night in order to monitor the fluid buildup. Some days I feel about nine months pregnant, some days only about four or five months. Last night I was surprised when my girth measured 34 inches around; it had been hovering around the 32 inch mark. My immediate thought was, uh-oh, the chemo has stopped working on the buildup, wonder what they'll have to do next to ease it. Then I went to bed. After about ten minutes, I got terrible gas pains and had to get out of bed and walk around to ease the pressure. Ease it I did, in several loud and smelly emissions over about half an hour. When I went back to bed, I had the bright idea of measuring my girth again, and lo and behold! Down to 32.5 inches. Wow, that was a lot of flagus!
Now that you have been properly shocked (snicker), I will bid you all a good evening. And have a great weekend too!
-- Lori
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Bad Days . . .
This is one of the hardest blog entries I have had to write.
The last week has been pretty tough on me and my family. Our beloved dog, Mac, has been ill, as you know if you have been reading this blog. Last Wednesday, he took a definite turn for the worse. He refused to take his medication even though we tried disguising it in several different tempting morsels. When we offered them to him, he would raise his head, sniff it, then simply turn his head away. He also stopped eating. He drank water, but wouldn't touch any food.
On top of that, as the days passed he pretty much stopped moving except to go from his water bowl to his blanket in the living room. He also became incontinent. He seemed unable to let us know when he needed to go out, but would pee wherever he happened to be. For a dog who very rarely had an accident in the house, this was humiliating for him, I am sure. He always looked ashamed, as if asking our forgiveness for peeing in the house.
We tried carrying him outside. He would find a sunny place to lie down and then stay there until we came to bring him in. A couple of times he wandered a short distance around the yard, but he couldn't go very far and became exhausted almost immediately.
We finally made the decision to have him put down. Yesterday morning my mother and children took him to the vet and he died very peacefully with all three of them with him and the girls holding him. I just couldn't face being there, so I stayed home and cried.
To make matters even more emotionally difficult, we had decided a few months ago to get another dog. Cliff has always wanted a hunting dog, so he has been looking for a trained hunting dog needing a new home. There are, believe it or not, many good dogs that need to be rescued out there, and there are many breed-specific rescue websites. Last week, Cliff was notified that he had been approved for one of the dogs he applied to adopt, so we got this new dog on Monday.
I feel almost like we betrayed Mac, bringing a new dog into he house when he was so sick, but the timing just happened and we hadn't much choice in the matter. I still feel very bad about it.
We are having Mac cremated and plan to put some of his ashes in our garden, and some out at my mom and dad's cabin in Alberta, where he loved to go every summer. As I sit here and write this, tears are streaming down my face because I loved that little mutt and no other dog will ever replace our beloved Mac.
-- Lori
The last week has been pretty tough on me and my family. Our beloved dog, Mac, has been ill, as you know if you have been reading this blog. Last Wednesday, he took a definite turn for the worse. He refused to take his medication even though we tried disguising it in several different tempting morsels. When we offered them to him, he would raise his head, sniff it, then simply turn his head away. He also stopped eating. He drank water, but wouldn't touch any food.
On top of that, as the days passed he pretty much stopped moving except to go from his water bowl to his blanket in the living room. He also became incontinent. He seemed unable to let us know when he needed to go out, but would pee wherever he happened to be. For a dog who very rarely had an accident in the house, this was humiliating for him, I am sure. He always looked ashamed, as if asking our forgiveness for peeing in the house.
We tried carrying him outside. He would find a sunny place to lie down and then stay there until we came to bring him in. A couple of times he wandered a short distance around the yard, but he couldn't go very far and became exhausted almost immediately.
We finally made the decision to have him put down. Yesterday morning my mother and children took him to the vet and he died very peacefully with all three of them with him and the girls holding him. I just couldn't face being there, so I stayed home and cried.
To make matters even more emotionally difficult, we had decided a few months ago to get another dog. Cliff has always wanted a hunting dog, so he has been looking for a trained hunting dog needing a new home. There are, believe it or not, many good dogs that need to be rescued out there, and there are many breed-specific rescue websites. Last week, Cliff was notified that he had been approved for one of the dogs he applied to adopt, so we got this new dog on Monday.
I feel almost like we betrayed Mac, bringing a new dog into he house when he was so sick, but the timing just happened and we hadn't much choice in the matter. I still feel very bad about it.
We are having Mac cremated and plan to put some of his ashes in our garden, and some out at my mom and dad's cabin in Alberta, where he loved to go every summer. As I sit here and write this, tears are streaming down my face because I loved that little mutt and no other dog will ever replace our beloved Mac.
-- Lori
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