that Dr. Cutie tells me Charlene's growth has been about half a centimeter. In November, she was four centimeters across; now she's four and a half centimeters.
-- Lori
Friday, January 30, 2009
New Chemotherapy Regime . . .
A happy Friday to everyone!
I went out this morning a few minutes after I got up (had to take the dog out for a watering) and noticed immediately a change in the feel of the air. That hard, sharp feeling is gone so the air feels much softer and milder. I sure hope this sticks around for a while. I know the forecast is for colder temperatures Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, but hopefully the worst of the bitter cold is over.
Yesterday's visit with Dr. Cutie was interesting. We discussed the new chemotherapy regime we will be using. It's much more complicated than the last drug I was taking because I will actually be taking two drugs by two different methods.
Lemme 'splain it to ya. The chemotherapy will be done in six week cycles of four weeks of treatment, then two weeks vacation. For the first and third weeks of chemo, I will be getting a drug called Fluorouracil that will be delivered to my body over 24 hours by a pump I will wear strapped to my body. Every second and fourth week, I get the Fluorouracil pump PLUS an infusion over two hours of a drug called Oxaliplatin. This will mean that instead of one trip to CancerCare every week I will have to make two, one to get the pump put on and one to get the pump taken off.
As well, the side effects of both of these drugs are a bit more serious than the Gemcitibine I was on, although they are not as bad as some chemo drug side effects you hear about. The Fluorouracil is pretty tame with the main side effect being an increased skin sensitivity to sunburn and possible sores in the mouth, skin rash, loss of appetite, and some hair loss. Nausea doesn't usually occur, but diarrhea does, as does a decrease in white blood cell and platelet counts.
The Oxaliplatin, on the other hand, is a more serious proposition. Side effects include nausea and vomiting for one or two days after treatment (although some people have little or no nausea), fever, diarrhea, white blood and platelet cell depletion, tingling or loss of feeling in hands, feet, nose, or throat that is made worse by exposure to cold, tiredness, and hair loss.
Don't these two drugs sound like fun????? Treatment starts Monday. I am interested to see if the black dog starts coming around again. My last two weeks without chemotherapy have been completely free from his unwelcome visits.
We also talked about the fluid that has built up around my organs. I feel like I'm pregnant. For those of you who have been there, remember in the last month or so when the baby presses up against your diaphragm, sometimes making it hard to breathe because of the pressure? That's sort of what it feels like, and I almost look like I'm pregnant because my abdomen is swollen and hard in that exact area. At least the fluid doesn't kick! Dr. Cutie doesn't want to drain the fluid off just yet. Since I am the first person he will be treating with this drug regimen, he wants to see if it will cause the fluid build up to go away. If I get really uncomfortable and have difficulty breathing, then he'll drain it.
I was curious, so I asked what caused the fluid to build up in the first place. I thought it might be caused by the medications I am on. Unfortunately, it's one of the effects of the cancer, part of the disease process. Also, there really isn't anything I can do about it; I just have to live with it until it goes away on its own or we drain it off. If it gets really bad, it can be treated - not very effectively - with diuretics, but we don't want to go there if we don't have to.
So that's the news up to the present time. For those of you who have met my folks and know they were here helping out until December, they will be coming up again next week to look after me. It's kind of tough facing a new chemotherapy regime because I really don't know what to expect until I've experienced the drugs. I don't know how much energy I'll have or whether I'll feel up to, well, anything, really.
I hope you all get a chance to get out there and enjoy this warmer weather today and tomorrow. I plan to go out to visit my sister and brother-in-law and the animals tomorrow since the weather should be so warm. I just hope it stays below freezing so we don't have to deal with rain! More ice we don't need!
Have a great weekend, folks!
-- Lori
I went out this morning a few minutes after I got up (had to take the dog out for a watering) and noticed immediately a change in the feel of the air. That hard, sharp feeling is gone so the air feels much softer and milder. I sure hope this sticks around for a while. I know the forecast is for colder temperatures Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, but hopefully the worst of the bitter cold is over.
Yesterday's visit with Dr. Cutie was interesting. We discussed the new chemotherapy regime we will be using. It's much more complicated than the last drug I was taking because I will actually be taking two drugs by two different methods.
Lemme 'splain it to ya. The chemotherapy will be done in six week cycles of four weeks of treatment, then two weeks vacation. For the first and third weeks of chemo, I will be getting a drug called Fluorouracil that will be delivered to my body over 24 hours by a pump I will wear strapped to my body. Every second and fourth week, I get the Fluorouracil pump PLUS an infusion over two hours of a drug called Oxaliplatin. This will mean that instead of one trip to CancerCare every week I will have to make two, one to get the pump put on and one to get the pump taken off.
As well, the side effects of both of these drugs are a bit more serious than the Gemcitibine I was on, although they are not as bad as some chemo drug side effects you hear about. The Fluorouracil is pretty tame with the main side effect being an increased skin sensitivity to sunburn and possible sores in the mouth, skin rash, loss of appetite, and some hair loss. Nausea doesn't usually occur, but diarrhea does, as does a decrease in white blood cell and platelet counts.
The Oxaliplatin, on the other hand, is a more serious proposition. Side effects include nausea and vomiting for one or two days after treatment (although some people have little or no nausea), fever, diarrhea, white blood and platelet cell depletion, tingling or loss of feeling in hands, feet, nose, or throat that is made worse by exposure to cold, tiredness, and hair loss.
Don't these two drugs sound like fun????? Treatment starts Monday. I am interested to see if the black dog starts coming around again. My last two weeks without chemotherapy have been completely free from his unwelcome visits.
We also talked about the fluid that has built up around my organs. I feel like I'm pregnant. For those of you who have been there, remember in the last month or so when the baby presses up against your diaphragm, sometimes making it hard to breathe because of the pressure? That's sort of what it feels like, and I almost look like I'm pregnant because my abdomen is swollen and hard in that exact area. At least the fluid doesn't kick! Dr. Cutie doesn't want to drain the fluid off just yet. Since I am the first person he will be treating with this drug regimen, he wants to see if it will cause the fluid build up to go away. If I get really uncomfortable and have difficulty breathing, then he'll drain it.
I was curious, so I asked what caused the fluid to build up in the first place. I thought it might be caused by the medications I am on. Unfortunately, it's one of the effects of the cancer, part of the disease process. Also, there really isn't anything I can do about it; I just have to live with it until it goes away on its own or we drain it off. If it gets really bad, it can be treated - not very effectively - with diuretics, but we don't want to go there if we don't have to.
So that's the news up to the present time. For those of you who have met my folks and know they were here helping out until December, they will be coming up again next week to look after me. It's kind of tough facing a new chemotherapy regime because I really don't know what to expect until I've experienced the drugs. I don't know how much energy I'll have or whether I'll feel up to, well, anything, really.
I hope you all get a chance to get out there and enjoy this warmer weather today and tomorrow. I plan to go out to visit my sister and brother-in-law and the animals tomorrow since the weather should be so warm. I just hope it stays below freezing so we don't have to deal with rain! More ice we don't need!
Have a great weekend, folks!
-- Lori
Monday, January 26, 2009
What the Doctor Said . . .
First off, let me apologize for not updating my blog last week after my appointment with Dr. Cutie. Really, there wasn't much to tell because he didn't get the MRI results on time. The only thing that we determined at the appointment is that I have some fluid building up around my internal organs and that makes my stomach look distended and feel rather uncomfortable and full all the time.
The fluid buildup is not a great cause for concern. It can be drained in a clinical procedure, although I suspect it may be an uncomfortable procedure for me! I can just bet they'll use a big old needle, jab it in my side, and suck the fluid out!
Dr. Cutie said that he would track down the MRI and call me Friday; if he wasn't able to get the results Friday, I was to go for chemo as scheduled today and he would find me and we'd have a chat. Fortunately, he did get the results and called late Friday afternoon.
Unfortunately, there is bad news. The tumor has grown, in his words, a bit. How much a bit is I don't know. Any growth is not good news because we're trying to shrink that damned thing. He also suggested that we try a new chemotherapy drug that has shown some success and is newly available in Manitoba. I believe he said it has only been used for the past six weeks or so and he must get approval to give it to me. It's more aggressive than the gemcitibine I have been getting. We will be meeting with him again this Thursday to discuss the side effects, the possible good effects, and all that.
I would have written this update over the weekend, but I had a rather busy Saturday. I went out to my sister's place (despite the dreadfully cold temperatures). We didn't spend much time with the horses because of the cold, but it was nice to get out of the house and have a good visit with her and my brother-in-law. Yesterday I just didn't feel like writing.
I am sure looking forward to the warmer temperatures later this week. With no insulating body fat, I get chilled to the bone almost immediately when I get outside, even though I dress in several layers and always wear a hat, scarf and warm mittens. I might even get out for a walk one of these fine days!
-- Lori
The fluid buildup is not a great cause for concern. It can be drained in a clinical procedure, although I suspect it may be an uncomfortable procedure for me! I can just bet they'll use a big old needle, jab it in my side, and suck the fluid out!
Dr. Cutie said that he would track down the MRI and call me Friday; if he wasn't able to get the results Friday, I was to go for chemo as scheduled today and he would find me and we'd have a chat. Fortunately, he did get the results and called late Friday afternoon.
Unfortunately, there is bad news. The tumor has grown, in his words, a bit. How much a bit is I don't know. Any growth is not good news because we're trying to shrink that damned thing. He also suggested that we try a new chemotherapy drug that has shown some success and is newly available in Manitoba. I believe he said it has only been used for the past six weeks or so and he must get approval to give it to me. It's more aggressive than the gemcitibine I have been getting. We will be meeting with him again this Thursday to discuss the side effects, the possible good effects, and all that.
I would have written this update over the weekend, but I had a rather busy Saturday. I went out to my sister's place (despite the dreadfully cold temperatures). We didn't spend much time with the horses because of the cold, but it was nice to get out of the house and have a good visit with her and my brother-in-law. Yesterday I just didn't feel like writing.
I am sure looking forward to the warmer temperatures later this week. With no insulating body fat, I get chilled to the bone almost immediately when I get outside, even though I dress in several layers and always wear a hat, scarf and warm mittens. I might even get out for a walk one of these fine days!
-- Lori
Monday, January 19, 2009
My Vacation . . .
Hiya, Folks!
The weather out there is a little more acceptable, isn't it? Even though it's overcast and rather dreary out, I'll take the warmer temperature gladly!
The Old Boot and I got out to see Bear yesterday and had a really nice visit with my sister, bro-in-law, and the horses. The horses were pretty frisky; you can tell they like the warmer weather too. Bear is such a nibbler; we spent about an hour outside with the horses, and about half of that hour we were pushing him away to stop him mouthing our jackets and warning him off nibbling our boots and trying to grab our mittens. We didn't get any new pictures because Younger Daughter, our official photographer, had homework and couldn't come along.
So this week is going to be a little different for me since I have no chemotherapy today. I'm glad of the break. Over the past few weeks. I have noticed a distinct pattern developing that tells me the chemotherapy is at least having some effect on me. On most days, I feel pretty good: I have some energy (a little more all the time), I can function not too badly, I can do a little housework and get through the mundane chores without much trouble. However, I do have one day a week that is unlike the others. Wednesdays are terrible days for me.
On Wednesdays, the full effect of the chemo drug takes hold. The odd thing is that I still feel not too bad physically; the greatest effect is on my state of mind. Physically, I feel like I have a touch of the flu, a little feverish, a little achy, just kind of blah and under the weather. Mentally, I am a basket case. On all the other days of the week I am cheerful and hopeful, but on Wednesdays, it's almost like I have a major depression. My thought processes are sluggish - don't ask me to make a decision because I can't. Everything looks bleak and hopeless. All I want to do is crawl into a warm, safe place and sleep.
I think of these days as the day the black dog comes to visit. Winston Churchill referred to his depression as the black dog, and it seems appropriate because, like a faithful dog, he sticks close. Yell at him, beat him with a stick, order him into a corner, doesn't matter, he always comes back.
So this week, with no chemo, I can look forward to a Wednesday without a visit from the black dog. My next rounds of chemo will be shorter, with three weeks of chemo then a vacation week. I noticed that every Wednesday the blackness got worse so I'm hoping shorter courses mean the depression I feel will be less severe.
I really count my lucky stars, though. A lot of cancer patients have depression that they have to fight every single day. I guess I should be able to handle being sad one day out of every week.
-- Lori
The weather out there is a little more acceptable, isn't it? Even though it's overcast and rather dreary out, I'll take the warmer temperature gladly!
The Old Boot and I got out to see Bear yesterday and had a really nice visit with my sister, bro-in-law, and the horses. The horses were pretty frisky; you can tell they like the warmer weather too. Bear is such a nibbler; we spent about an hour outside with the horses, and about half of that hour we were pushing him away to stop him mouthing our jackets and warning him off nibbling our boots and trying to grab our mittens. We didn't get any new pictures because Younger Daughter, our official photographer, had homework and couldn't come along.
So this week is going to be a little different for me since I have no chemotherapy today. I'm glad of the break. Over the past few weeks. I have noticed a distinct pattern developing that tells me the chemotherapy is at least having some effect on me. On most days, I feel pretty good: I have some energy (a little more all the time), I can function not too badly, I can do a little housework and get through the mundane chores without much trouble. However, I do have one day a week that is unlike the others. Wednesdays are terrible days for me.
On Wednesdays, the full effect of the chemo drug takes hold. The odd thing is that I still feel not too bad physically; the greatest effect is on my state of mind. Physically, I feel like I have a touch of the flu, a little feverish, a little achy, just kind of blah and under the weather. Mentally, I am a basket case. On all the other days of the week I am cheerful and hopeful, but on Wednesdays, it's almost like I have a major depression. My thought processes are sluggish - don't ask me to make a decision because I can't. Everything looks bleak and hopeless. All I want to do is crawl into a warm, safe place and sleep.
I think of these days as the day the black dog comes to visit. Winston Churchill referred to his depression as the black dog, and it seems appropriate because, like a faithful dog, he sticks close. Yell at him, beat him with a stick, order him into a corner, doesn't matter, he always comes back.
So this week, with no chemo, I can look forward to a Wednesday without a visit from the black dog. My next rounds of chemo will be shorter, with three weeks of chemo then a vacation week. I noticed that every Wednesday the blackness got worse so I'm hoping shorter courses mean the depression I feel will be less severe.
I really count my lucky stars, though. A lot of cancer patients have depression that they have to fight every single day. I guess I should be able to handle being sad one day out of every week.
-- Lori
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
First Round of Chemotherapy Done . . .
Yesterday was the last chemotherapy for this round.
Seven weeks, six doses of chemotherapy, and I'm feelin' pretty good. Yesterday's session went pretty much the way they all have done. We went and got bloodwork done (my hemoglobin is a bit low but not terribly so), got the gemcitibine infused, and came home.
The slow release morphine that I started taking on New Year's Eve is sure helping a lot with the pain. I take one pill in the morning and one at night, and most of the day and night I am close to pain free. I still feel a little pain under my first few ribs on the right side, but I suspect that is still from the surgeon moving around my liver's bile duct during surgery. The surgical incision is well healed and isn't causing me much trouble. I have noticed, however, that recently the area around the incision clenches and stays clenched for a while - an hour or two - before it relaxes. It used to clench and unclench after a few minutes. It isn't what you would call painful; it's more something I am aware of and sometimes my entire abdominal area becomes hard from the clenching. It's annoying.
I have some medical appointments next week. On Wednesday, January 21, I go for another MRI at 7:45 AM, then on Thursday, January 22, I have a follow-up with Dr. Cutie. Keep your fingers crossed for me that the chemotherapy is causing some shrinkage of the tumor, or at least that it hasn't grown any. Since Charlene couldn't be cut out, the best hope we have is that we can make her sick and shrink her until she's small enough to either irradiate or cut out.
I'm sure most of you will give me an "Amen, sister" when I say I am sick of this extreme cold. I just checked the temperature: -35. Okay, that's just too bloody cold. If I get to stick my nose out the door today, I likely won't go much farther than a block from the house. I hope this weekend's warm up lasts more than a couple of days. I'm not asking for above-freezing temperatures, all I want is a week or two with decent daytime highs, say -15 or so, so that we can actually get out and enjoy the winter.
I wanna go have a visit with Bear.
-- Lori
Seven weeks, six doses of chemotherapy, and I'm feelin' pretty good. Yesterday's session went pretty much the way they all have done. We went and got bloodwork done (my hemoglobin is a bit low but not terribly so), got the gemcitibine infused, and came home.
The slow release morphine that I started taking on New Year's Eve is sure helping a lot with the pain. I take one pill in the morning and one at night, and most of the day and night I am close to pain free. I still feel a little pain under my first few ribs on the right side, but I suspect that is still from the surgeon moving around my liver's bile duct during surgery. The surgical incision is well healed and isn't causing me much trouble. I have noticed, however, that recently the area around the incision clenches and stays clenched for a while - an hour or two - before it relaxes. It used to clench and unclench after a few minutes. It isn't what you would call painful; it's more something I am aware of and sometimes my entire abdominal area becomes hard from the clenching. It's annoying.
I have some medical appointments next week. On Wednesday, January 21, I go for another MRI at 7:45 AM, then on Thursday, January 22, I have a follow-up with Dr. Cutie. Keep your fingers crossed for me that the chemotherapy is causing some shrinkage of the tumor, or at least that it hasn't grown any. Since Charlene couldn't be cut out, the best hope we have is that we can make her sick and shrink her until she's small enough to either irradiate or cut out.
I'm sure most of you will give me an "Amen, sister" when I say I am sick of this extreme cold. I just checked the temperature: -35. Okay, that's just too bloody cold. If I get to stick my nose out the door today, I likely won't go much farther than a block from the house. I hope this weekend's warm up lasts more than a couple of days. I'm not asking for above-freezing temperatures, all I want is a week or two with decent daytime highs, say -15 or so, so that we can actually get out and enjoy the winter.
I wanna go have a visit with Bear.
-- Lori
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Patrick Swayze . . .
For those of you who missed the Barbara Walters interview with Patrick Swayze last night, I found it. I can't get a live link to work, so you'll have to copy and paste the URL into your browser window.
http://www.bittenandbound.com/2009/01/07/patrick-swayze-barbara-walters-interview-video/
It takes a while to load each chunk, but it's worth the wait.
I didn't see it, but my sister told me about it. A lot of what Patrick says about his cancer resonates very strongly with me.
-- Lori
PS: My cancer is at stage 2a.
http://www.bittenandbound.com/2009/01/07/patrick-swayze-barbara-walters-interview-video/
It takes a while to load each chunk, but it's worth the wait.
I didn't see it, but my sister told me about it. A lot of what Patrick says about his cancer resonates very strongly with me.
-- Lori
PS: My cancer is at stage 2a.
Itch Update . . .
I have good news on the itch front!
I woke up in the middle of the night Tuesday feeling quite itchy, so of course I gave myself a good scratchin', had a little itch early Wednesday morning, but since then I have only had what you might call transient itches - an itchy spot that begs for a scratch and then disappears. Hard to say if these are chemo-related or if they're just dry winter skin itch.
Whichever. I don't care. Itch is almost non-existent this time around.
Yay!
On another note, many people have left messages in the comments section of my blog. I don't respond to all of them, mainly because I don't get an e-mail address that I can respond to unless you leave it in your comment or you e-mail from the blog and give me an e-mail address to which I can respond. If you want to contact me, simply click the e-mail option under the comments. This goes to my Yahoo account which I try to check at least once a week (but sometimes don't, so please be patient).
I hope no feelings have been hurt from my lack of response, otherwise, please accept my apologies.
-- Lori
I woke up in the middle of the night Tuesday feeling quite itchy, so of course I gave myself a good scratchin', had a little itch early Wednesday morning, but since then I have only had what you might call transient itches - an itchy spot that begs for a scratch and then disappears. Hard to say if these are chemo-related or if they're just dry winter skin itch.
Whichever. I don't care. Itch is almost non-existent this time around.
Yay!
On another note, many people have left messages in the comments section of my blog. I don't respond to all of them, mainly because I don't get an e-mail address that I can respond to unless you leave it in your comment or you e-mail from the blog and give me an e-mail address to which I can respond. If you want to contact me, simply click the e-mail option under the comments. This goes to my Yahoo account which I try to check at least once a week (but sometimes don't, so please be patient).
I hope no feelings have been hurt from my lack of response, otherwise, please accept my apologies.
-- Lori
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Chemotherapy Again . . .
Yesterday's chemotherapy session was the second-last of this series, so I go again next week, then I get a one-week break from chemo. So far, no side effects. Last week's itch was definitely less intense than the week before. Dr. Cutie says this decrease in intensity is normal, so I'm hoping that after a few more treatments I may not get any itch at all.
However, I was feeling pretty rotten this morning. Not because of the chemotherapy, you understand, but because of the morphine. It slows your body systems down to a crawl, particularly your bowels, until your body gets used to it. I was in quite a bit of discomfort today with lots of gas pains. Funny, I never had gas pains before except when I was pregnant. These, however, are much more intense and nasty. I had a really good sleep this afternoon and am feeling much better this evening. I seem to have got my system back on track.
I am so glad you are enjoying the pictures of Bear and me that I posted. Here's another one.
Wish the weather was just a little bit nicer so I could go out and see him every couple of days, but it ain't, so I cain't.
-- Lori
PS: Here's a piece of cowboy wisdom we should all remember: Never squat with your spurs on.
However, I was feeling pretty rotten this morning. Not because of the chemotherapy, you understand, but because of the morphine. It slows your body systems down to a crawl, particularly your bowels, until your body gets used to it. I was in quite a bit of discomfort today with lots of gas pains. Funny, I never had gas pains before except when I was pregnant. These, however, are much more intense and nasty. I had a really good sleep this afternoon and am feeling much better this evening. I seem to have got my system back on track.
I am so glad you are enjoying the pictures of Bear and me that I posted. Here's another one.
Wish the weather was just a little bit nicer so I could go out and see him every couple of days, but it ain't, so I cain't.
-- Lori
PS: Here's a piece of cowboy wisdom we should all remember: Never squat with your spurs on.
Friday, January 2, 2009
What I Did on New Year's Day . . .
There is an old superstition that says that anything you do on New Year's Day, you will do all year long. So, in order to avoid housework and other such mundane unpleasantness for the upcoming year, I went to visit Bear yesterday.
Thought you might enjoy some pics.
I should mention that I was wearing mittens with rabbit fur backs; for some reason, all three horses were just enthralled with them! They all had to have a good snuffle and a long feel with their noses and lips. Both Esme and Bear actually tried to make off with the mittens! Bear is quite the thief and loves to grab stuff and wander away with it, but I don't think Esme usually does things like that.
-- Lori
Thought you might enjoy some pics.
I should mention that I was wearing mittens with rabbit fur backs; for some reason, all three horses were just enthralled with them! They all had to have a good snuffle and a long feel with their noses and lips. Both Esme and Bear actually tried to make off with the mittens! Bear is quite the thief and loves to grab stuff and wander away with it, but I don't think Esme usually does things like that.
-- Lori
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