Some Good Days, Some Bad Days . . .

This has been a very eventful week for me, and most of it has been pretty good!

First off, nice weather. Nice to be out in it, nice to see the sun shining in at the windows, just all around better than it has been.

The pain of losing Mac is slowly wearing off. I still miss his little face following me outside, and I still miss his enthusiastic welcome back whenever I have been out of the house for longer than five minutes, but I know we did the right thing in having him put down because he was suffering.

Yesterday was a red letter day for me: mom and I went out to my sister's and I got to ride Pearl on my own for about an hour. It was an interesting experience both for me and for Pearl. My sister tacked her up with a saddle, which made mounting and dismounting much, much easier, and a halter. She looped the free end of the lead rope through the halter and I rode Pearl just like that, without a bridle. At first she was a little unsure of herself (as I was), but she got the hang of responding to a bit of pressure on the lead rope reins. We wandered around the training ring a bit, then did some figure eights, some sharp turns, practiced stopping, and I even got her to back up a couple of steps! That's something I've never been able to do before (mainly because nobody ever taught me how).

Then we were let out of the training ring and rode around the pasture a bit. We never got beyond a walk, but since we're both learning and still getting to know each other, that was fine with me. Besides which, I was happy to go at a slow pace and just enjoy the motion of the horse, the soft breeze blowing on my face, and the sun warming me.

Funny thing, I don't feel the least bit stiff. When I went riding years ago, I always had sore legs, and if you have ever gone riding, you know what I mean. My sister tells me that you only get stiff riding a horse if you tense up, and I managed to stay loosey-goosey and relaxed the whole time. I have also been doing some yoga stretches and such to keep what little muscle I have left nice and flexible.

I can hardly wait to go riding again! Keep your fingers crossed for good weather next week.

Today was a long day because I had both an appointment with Dr. Cutie and a CT scan. We were at HSC for over five hours. Heck, it took almost an hour just to get my bloodwork done! The news is good: I am okay to go ahead with the next round of chemotherapy. The last CT didn't show much change in the tumor, but it did show the fluid buildup around my organs. The chemo seems to be keeping that in check fairly well but doesn't get rid of it entirely.

After a visit with Dr. Cutie, we went to the CT room and I had my usual CT scan. This involves drinking two 10-ounce glasses of water with contrast solution mixed in, getting a line put into my arm for more contrast solution to be administered during the scan, then being stuck in the CT machine. The hardest part this time was the line. The nurse who put it in did a good job, got a vein the first try. But when they started the contrast solution during the scan itself, whoever started the solution just grabbed my arm and yoinked it up without warning me. It felt like the line needle turned sideways inside my arm and I was literally yelping in pain. If she had at least warned me, I would have been prepared. As it was, it hurt like heck and almost had me in tears.

I will probably not see Dr. Cutie again for six weeks, but he will call me if anything serious shows up on today's CT scan.

CAUTION! THIS PARAGRAPH MIGHT GROSS YOU OUT. I have been measuring my girth every night in order to monitor the fluid buildup. Some days I feel about nine months pregnant, some days only about four or five months. Last night I was surprised when my girth measured 34 inches around; it had been hovering around the 32 inch mark. My immediate thought was, uh-oh, the chemo has stopped working on the buildup, wonder what they'll have to do next to ease it. Then I went to bed. After about ten minutes, I got terrible gas pains and had to get out of bed and walk around to ease the pressure. Ease it I did, in several loud and smelly emissions over about half an hour. When I went back to bed, I had the bright idea of measuring my girth again, and lo and behold! Down to 32.5 inches. Wow, that was a lot of flagus!

Now that you have been properly shocked (snicker), I will bid you all a good evening. And have a great weekend too!

-- Lori